#they're eating one of those small melons here though

[soosoosoup]

Watermelon peck

[saint-ambrosef]

newbie's guide to produce

for all my peers who were not taught how to shop for veggies and fruit on a budget and struggle to use them before they go bad:

(disclaimer: prices are approximate based on where i live in the Southern US. costs may be higher in your area, but the comparison of cost should still be valuable.)

cheap produce year-round:

roma tomatoes. if they look under-ripe you can leave them on the counter for a few days. keeps in fridge for about 2 weeks. $1/lb.

cucumbers. around here they're 50-60 cents each. go bad quickly though, about 1 week in fridge.

celery. two bucks for a head. starts to get sad after two weeks in fridge. only makes sense if you like to snack on celery or make soups often.

corn. whole ears are like 20cents each mid-summer, otherwise just get frozen. $1.50 for a lb.

peas. get these puppies frozen for $1.50/lb. good protein, too.

romaine lettuce. one head is good for several small salads, about $2 and lasts a week in fridge. the big boxes/multi-packs may seem like a better deal but not if it all goes bad before you can eat it.

onions. kind of a given but you can get regular yellow varietals for less than a buck per pound. will last for 1-2 months in pantry.

potatoes. you can get 5lb bags of russets for three bucks. sweet potatoes are a lil over $1/lb. last 2-3 months in pantry; if they grow sprouts, you can cut those off and still eat it.

bananas. dirt cheap. a small bunch (4-5) costs like a dollar. if they go over-ripe before you eat them all just get less or get a few green ones (p.s: you're allowed to break them off larger clumps).

radishes. $1.50 for a little bundle. greens get wilty after a week, roots will last 2 weeks (you can use both parts).

hot peppers. poblano, jalapeno, etc., are often quite cheap and you usually don't need very many anyways. few weeks fridge or counter.

cheap produce when in season:

summer squash. in summertime (duh), zucchini and yellow squash are like $1.25/lb. only last a week or so though in fridge.

winter squash. actually in season in fall, these are your butternuts and acorn squash. less than $1/lb then. lasts in pantry for months.

green beans. in warm months they can be on sale for $1.50/lb! last 1.5-2 weeks in fridge? (kinda depends on the shape they're in)

kale. it's a cool-season green that commonly is on sale in colder months. $1.60 for a big bunch, about 1.5 weeks in fridge before it gets seriously wilty. (can be eaten cooked or raw!)

apples. fall/winter, usually at least one variety on sale for $1.25/lb. last forever.

oranges. most citrus are winter fruits. $1/lb. will last forever in your fridge.

strawberries. spring. at their peak, i can find them for $2/lb. otherwise they are too expensive.

watermelon. $8 for big 10lb melons. they can take up a ton of space though and need to be refrigerated once cut/ripe.

cantaloupe. another summer star! $1.50 each on sale. they will slow ripen in the fridge but you do have to keep an eye on it.

pineapple. $1.50 in summer time. might be ripe even when still a bit green, ready when they smell noticeably ripe.

pears. fall season, sometimes into winter. $1.20/lb. last 1-2 weeks on the counter or forever in the fridge.

pomegranate. in winter time they can be found for $2 each. tricky to peel though.

peaches. and nectarines (which are just fuzzless peaches). $1.25/lb in summer and will last for weeks in your fridge.

eggplants. summertime veggie, you can get for $1.50 when they're on sale. otherwise a bit pricey. keep in fridge for 2 weeks.

mid-range produce:

cabbage. three bucks for a 2-lb head but you can get a lot out of it. will keep 3-4 weeks in the fridge but any exposed cut sides will start moldering after a week.

mushrooms. white button or baby bella. $1.50 for 8oz. keep in mind, mushrooms halve in size after cooking. ~2 weeks though.

avocados. if you live in the South like me, small hass varietals are 60-80 cents apiece in winter. ripe when it gives just a little to squeezing (you can't go off color alone).

broccoli. fresh is $1.70ish per head and lasts a week in fridge. frozen is $1.50/lb but might be kind of mushy.

most greens. spring mixes, spinach, arugula, etc can really vary in price but often fall into a few bucks at least per bundle/package. in a fridge's humidity drawer they last 1-2 weeks.

kiwis. i love them but they're a bit pricey for their size. 50 cents each. their keep depends on how ripe they are at purchase.

expensive produce:

asparagus. one of the most expensive veggies. sometimes in spring you can get it for $2/lb (a steal but still a bit much). lasts 1.5 weeks.

brussel sprouts. same as above.

red or yellow bell peppers. they are used sooo often in recipes and it annoys me. often $1.50-2.00 each. last a long time in fridge.

caluiflower. three bucks for a head. yikes!

green beans. when they're not in season, they are like $3/lb.

snap peas. same as above, except they never seem to be on sale.

raspberries. go bad in 3 days and cost an arm and a leg. sometimes when they're in season you can get them for like $2 per half-pint as a treat.

blueberries and blackberries. even when they're in season, they're still $2 per pint.

grapes. they can sorta be affordable in the fall season for $2/lb, but otherwise they're double that. and usually you have to commit to buying several pounds. last 2 weeks in fridge.

plums. i love them so so much but they're only in season for like 2 weeks of the year it seems and they're like $3/lb.

inexpensive accoutrements: (for garnishes, seasoning, etc)

limes. 25cents apiece. they'll start to dry out after 1 week on the counter so keep them in the fridge unless you will use it soon.

lemons. usually 50cents each for the small varietals. keep same as above.

green onions. less than a dollar for a bunch, and you can easily regrow a few times at home if you stick the white rooted end in water by a window.

cilantro. 50cents. will last WAY longer (1-2 weeks) if you keep it in a mug of water in the fridge.

parsley. 85cents. same as above.

obviously sticking just with popularly available produce across the country. it's not an exhaustive list but can give you a bit more perspective on what produce you should be focusing on if you're trying to work with a tight grocery budget. good luck!

[narancias-headband]

Christmas Day at La Squadra HQ

I hope everyone has a very merry Christmas!!💚❤️ Here's another little drabble about the vibes of the holidays with the La Squadra boys.

The Christmas season can be tough around La Squadra HQ... Not everyone on the team has had the best history with Christmas, and many cope in different ways. Prosciutto is reserved, but prone to outbursts, while Melone is just happy to have company for the holidays. And Risotto, is, well... Risotto. The differences in their issues causes rifts throughout the season, even through Christmas Eve (though the peace finally starts setting in that night), but on Christmas Day the tensions drop to almost nothing. For once, they're all kind to each other for a day. The whole building is quiet and calm in a way that is near impossible for the rest of the year.

It was years ago on this day that they'd all discussed their individual issues with the season, and now it seems like a sense of reverence for these traumas is still held.

When they open presents it comes to light that there are a few more gifts than those for Secret Santa. A few are given due to occurrences of the past year, or finding something that is just too perfect. The inequality of gift giving breeds no animosity.

And this year, like every before it, Risotto stands before his team with a confession. A confession that he couldn't help but buy each of them a present. There's even a secondary one for his Secret Santa recipient. He sees each and everyone's hard work clearer than anyone else, and isn't afraid to show appreciation once a year with a small present. They're usually inexpensive, but filled with thought and effort. Things based on passing comments and desires that somehow Risotto can lock away in his mind for months.

Lunch is leftovers from the previous nights dinner, but dinner for this evening is a huge ordeal. Everyone crowds into the kitchen, minus Prosciutto and Pesci who made dinner yesterday, in order to prepare the evening meal. The kitchen is bustling and ends up a mess, but the meal is made with love and heart that shines when everyone sits down to eat.

Tomorrow, they'll have to get back to the real world. Surely a new hit will be brought upon them before too long. But for today, they can all have a very normal, and very merry, Christmas.

[sunarou]

Kageyama, Akaashi, and Kuroo when they're jealous

Requested~ Nope

Notes~ It kinda got smutty towards the end with Kuroo 💀

Kageyama Tobio

Kageyama saw you running up to him and Hinata with some snacks, when you finally arrived in front of them, you handed Hinata a melon bun with a smile. “Here you go Hinata, I know you like those,” You said as you opened up a box of pocky.

Kageyama looked at your hands, waiting for his snack, but it never came. “Hey Y/N, where’s my snack?” Kageyama slightly pouts. “Oh, they didn’t have your favorite milk drink,” you explained, hiding the milk drink in your pocket. “You got Hinata a snack but not me?” He gruffs, and then Kageyama tries to steal Hinata’s melon bun, and then the chase began. Hinata was screaming.

“This is mine!!” while Kageyama runs behind him, “I’m Y/N’s boyfriend so I should have that!”. You let them run for a while before laughing and calling Kageyama out. “Kageyama! Here’s your drink” You waved the small blue milk carton as he dashes to you and gently takes it. Looking adorable as he drinks. Hinata’s just thankful that he can eat his snack in peace now.

Akaashi Keiji

“Is that a new game Kenma?” You asked the pudding head as he nods, his fingers rapidly pressing buttons as he defeats another boss. “Can I play?” You asked again, Kenma looks at you, then sighs. “Let me save first and I’ll let you play..you can’t fight anything though,” He says as he hands you the console. “Huh? But I wanna fight some monsters too!” You tell him as you give the console back. “Fine if you don’t wanna play..” He teased as he slowly reaches for the console.

Akaashi’s been watching the two of bicker and tease each other, it’s not like he’s upset or anything. It’s because you’ve been with Kenma for the whole day and not even spared a glance at Akaashi, or because of you guys sitting close to each other... Oh g o d he is jealous

“Akaashi! Your face looks more sour than usual, what’s up?” He hears Kuroo ask from behind. “Nothing.” He deadpan said. “Ah, Kenma and Y/N right?” Kuroo asked but Akaashi stayed firm. “It totally is! Don’t worry, they’re just playing around” He smiles at Akaashi. He suddenly stood up walking to the gaming duo, standing in front of his S/O.

“Hey Akaashi wanna see the game Kenma’s play-” He didn’t let you finish as he took your forearm and gently dragged you back where he sat, he places you down his lap as he rests his head on your chest. “Don’t play around too much darling” He softly says. Kuroo’s laughing like a hyena behind them.

Kuroo Tetsurou

When it comes to your phone and your otome games he is in super jealous mode. Why? Oh because of someone named Zen, the lovely narcissist in this game called ‘Mystic Messenger’ and let me tell you that when you didn’t pay any attention to dear Kuroo and instead spend your time waiting for a chatroom. Kuroo sulks and gets real clingy. “Y/NNN, why look at that pretty boy when you have one here? Sitting on the bed? All alone and needy for attention?” He says, “Sorry Kuroo, my friend just got me hooked onto the game” You apologize. “Still! Zen isn’t even that handsome, plus he isn’t real unlike me! Is it the white long silky hair?” he asks. “No Kuroo, I love your rooster bed hair more than his” You laugh, he pouts as he entraps you in his arms.

“Not fair, you made me wait for this long to just get me roasted about my hair? Not fair kitten..” He whispers into your ear. But then a sweet ‘ding’ interrupts your time as you went to grab your phone, Kuroo takes it first and gently tosses it somewhere, as he pushes you onto the bed. “Where were we again kitten?” He says as he dives onto your neck, leaving marks. “Jumin calls me kitten too” you tease.

“Well he can’t fuck you like I do huh kitten?” he smirks.

~Love Lola🦋

[amane-by-together]

Hanafuda || Amane Yugi

(Part 1 of 10)

genre: fluff, school, slice of life, modern au (where all wonders live)

summary: amane yugi spends his school days skipping classes until he meets [name] [surname], a student from the other class, who was also skipping classes and eventually the two of them formed a platonic friendship. cutting classes and playing hanafuda together strengthens their friendship but soon unexpected feelings blossom between the two.

“Amane-kun.” [name] was shuffling the hanafuda cards together for them to play, she glanced over to the choppy haired boy who was sitting crossed legged against the rooftop's railings. “You going to the next class?”

“Nah.” Amane answers while fiddling with his locks of hair. “We probably skipped three classes this day, wanna skip classes in fourth period?” he smirked playfully.

“What class do you have in fourth period?” [name] asked, giving Amane some seven hanafuda cards. “Math?”

“Literature.” He received the cards and scooted in front of her. [name] flashed him a quick grin, her competitive side is showing all of a sudden when it comes to hanafuda. Amane stared at his cards and groaned. “Ugh, why do I get the worse cards?”

“I dunno, I wasn't looking when I was shuffling them.” [name] purses her lips together as she analyzes her cards. Her [eye color] colored eyes met with Amane's amber eyes. “Hm. Let's start!”

“You go ahead, [name]-san.”

“Hm~? Alrighty then~” [name] stretched her arms and let out a satisfying sound from her lips. She placed a sakura card with the tag to its match and took another card from the stack and placed it along with the cards on the center since it has no match. “Winner gets to sleep in the loser's lap.” she added.

“[name]-san, you know so damn well I'm not good with these things.” he murmured with a blush while putting a matsu card on the center.

Amane met [name] by chance. He often skip classes alone week by week, no one seemed to notice his absence which was fine by him. One day, he decided to stay on the rooftop and saw a girl sitting by herself with her phone. It must be fate or a coincidence, he thought.

The thing is, he has never seen this girl from the classes he attended to so he assumed that she's from the different class where Tsukasa, his twin brother, is. “Tsukasa-kun?!” she exclaimed at their first encounter. “What the frickety frack are you doing here?!”

Amane scratches his cheek and sweat dropped. He spoke. “I'm not Tsukasa though, I'm his older twin.”

[name] blinked she stood up from the bench and went over to Amane. The choppy haired boy slightly backed away from her. “Your tone is lowered down a bit, your eyes shaped like the crescent moon, yeah you're not Tsukasa-kun.” she muttered.

“I'm Amane Yugi, first year highschool, from class A.” he introduced himself while twiddling his fingers. “I'm Tsukasa's older brother though.” he chuckled.

“[name] [surname], same year as you but I'm from class B. Nice to meet you, Amane-kun.” [name] sat back down to the bench, she patted the extra space next to her. “Come, sit next to me.”

Amane hesitated a bit but shrugged and sat next to [name]. The female grinned, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I guess you're skipping classes like me.”

“I've been skipping multiple times, no one noticed it yet, how about you?” Amane scooted closer till their shoulders touched, his bangs became parted from the side due to the slight wind that passed by.

“I started skipping on the beginning of first year.” [name] pulls out a packet of melon bread and gave it to Amane which he gratefully accepts it. Amane and [name] ate in pure silence, munching on to the bread that [name] bought recently which was originally for herself.

During those days of skipping classes, they would play hanafuda together on the rooftop. [name] would frequently win during their matches, guess luck really isn't compatible with Amane. The two of them quickly became close due to their meet ups when they're skipping classes together.

“Amane-kun, I know you have the full moon bright card.” [name] eyed him suspiciously but a shadow casted over to her face with a funny glint in her eyes. She placed an ume card with a red tag on it. “Red Poetry Tags, I win again~!”

“I couldn't even get a lot of yaku combinations.” Amane helped [name] to clean up the cards. “I knew I should give up the plain cards.”

Amane blushed at the thought of [name] laying down on his lap, he doesn't even know what to do when that happens, maybe he should play with her hair or massage her cheek?

[name] happily laid down on his lap, Amane grabbed his hoodie and placed it on top of her skirt. “Ne, [name]…” his hands reached over to caress her hair with his fingers. “Let's have lunch together.”

“Sure, I don't really have someone to share my lunch with,” Amane looked down on her laying on his lap and gave her a soft smile. He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and started to pet her head, he reminded her of a cat. [name] would often keep her distance from others makes her cat-like according to him.

Though there's a part of [name] that doesn't want to open up to people, Amane was pretty much the same as her. “I got tired from work, yesterday.” he mentions with a small chuckle.

“Wait, you have a part time job?” [name] asked as her eyes piqued in interest, wanting to know what he does for work. “Where?”

Amane's cheeks grew warm, he slightly drooped his eyes and said. “I'm not telling you.”

“Why though?”

“You'd probably show up if I did.”

[name] turned her head to face his embarrassed look. She smiled playfully while wiping a dramatic tear from her eye. “You know me so well.” she faked a sniff.

“It's embarrassing...” Amane grumbled. [name] reached her hand out and placed it on to his cheek. He leans against her touch, the feeling of warmth and serenity made him smile a bit.

“But it's not. The fact that you're working is admirable.” [name] assured him with a smile unbeknownst to her that Amane's heart definitely skipped a beat on that act. “Pinch~” she cheekily grins while pinching his cheek.

“Owsh—” Amane tried to say while his cheek is being pulled by [name] and by that she releases her cheek. “That hurts...” he pouted.

“Have this for payback.” Amane returned the favor by pinching her cheek. Her cheeks were like mochi, which he likes to point it out just to tease her. “Mochiii~”

[name] deadpans. “You're treating me like some kind of mochi instead of a person.”

“Exactly.” The bell suddenly rang interrupting the two teens. Amane grabbed his bag that was on the bench. [name] punched a hole on the juice box using a straw and took a sip.

Amane leaned back against the railings, unboxing his lunch and ate. [name] didn't feel like eating, a juice box can satisfy her stomach after all. “[name]-san, don't you have lunch?”

“I forgot it at home.” she replied nonchalantly, she kept on having a stoic face until her stomach betrayed her by letting out a small growl. Amane stop eating halfway at the sound. “That’s nothing~” she denied that she was hungry.

“Here, I’ll give you some of my lunch.” Amane picked up a piece of egg roll using his chopsticks and raised it in front of [name]. “Say ahh~”

“O-Oi!” [name] flinched as she backed away from him. Amane’s brow creases in pure confusion. “Y-You don’t have to...”

“I can’t let you skip lunch, [name]-san.” The choppy haired boy smiled while putting the egg roll near her mouth, then his smile turned into a painful one. “Just take a bite, my hand is getting tired.”

[name] sighed in defeat, she was very hungry and was wrong about the juice box making her full. She tucked a hair behind her ear and ate the egg roll that Amane offered for her, his heart skipped a beat whilst she pulled away. “I guess, sharing lunch is not a bad idea...”

“Also, your lunch tastes good.” [name] scooted next to Amane to see his boxed lunch, she pointed at the ghost-shaped sausages, the bunny shaped rice balls and egg rolls. “You made that?”

Amane nodded with a slight blush on his face but the smile on his face didn't falter. “Well yeah, at the first time I made one of these they were all sloppy but practice makes perfect so I'm able to make one. If you'd like, I'll make you one or we can be matching too~!”

“Let's have matching lunches, duh.” [name] opens her mouth and ate another piece of egg roll that Amane was offering her. “But before that, I'll make us some lunch for us to share.”

“[name]-san, here have a sausage.” Amane feeds her the ghost-shaped sausages which the latter hummed contently. Amane took a bite on one of the sausages, he pulled out his phone and swallowed his food. “Hey, [name]-san,”

[name] stopped chewing her food. “Hm?”

“Wanna go home early?” Amane said with a mischievous grin, he's mostly the bad influence when it comes to reckless things like skipping classes. [name] had no idea why he has a lot of plans regarding this. “This is getting boring, don't cha think so?”

“And how do we plan to sneak out from school?” [name] asked, quirking a brow whilst waiting for an answer.

“We can jump off the roof.” Amane suggests.

“No. We'll freaking die if we did or even break our bones.” [name] shuddered. “If we did, they'll think it's just some lovers' su—”

“Nevermind that then.” Amane flailed his hands in front of her. “I guess we should wait till dismissal then...”

“Wanna play again?” [name] asked as she showed him the small box containing the cards.

Amane smiled. “Sure.”

Amane sat alone on a concrete bench, listening to the soft pitter patter of the rain surrounding him. Holding the clear umbrella from his right hand, he sighed as if he's gonna make a monologue or something.

He has friends from his class but none of them made him feel real. The only person who can make him feel like himself was no other than [name].

[name], to Amane, was everything to him. Meeting her was fate as if they were meant to meet in the first place. Back then, Amane admired some girls yet only because they're pretty. None of them were ever even close to him, he only felt shallow for them.

“Sorry for making you wait—” [name]'s voice cuts him off from his inner monologue. She held up her school bag on top of her head to prevent her from the rain. She grins blithely. “You don't have to be sitting the exact same way.”

“My uniform is a bit soaked.” [name] added with a wince. Amane licked the side of his lip and stood up to put the umbrella above her. “It was literally sunny recently.”

“Hm, I'll be taking you home.” Amane hands her the umbrella to [name], went over to his bike and puts his school bag in the basket. “Which way is your house?”

“That's like a novel way to put it but I guess that works.” [name] pointed out. “Sounds like a romance cliche, not gonna lie, lmao.”

Amane stepped on to his bike, [name] held on to his shoulders from behind. He was thankful that she didn't get to see his blushing face, because that's lowkey what every guy felt when there's a girl behind them on a bike.

Amane started pedalling. [name] closes the umbrella and sits down instead. “It stopped raining, by the way.” she declared.

[name] wrapped her arms around his torso and that's how Amane's face erupt in a huge blush. “[name]-san?!” he stammered at the sudden action.

“...Don't say a word about this.”

“I'm sorry, what?”

[name]'s face flushes, she buried her face on his back and that's where his heart started to beat faster. Out of all the girls he admired throughout the years, his feelings for [name] is different.

How so you may ask? When Amane is around [name] it's like he's sitting on a fluffy pink cotton candy or maybe standing on water that reflects a pastel pink sky with soft looking clouds with her. “You know, with you hugging me from behind isn't that kinda...” Amane turned his head towards [name] and smirked playfully. “Bold for you~?”

[name] tightens the hold in irritation. “Ack—” Amane's hold on the handle became wobbly but managed to maintain his balance. [name] elicits a small giggle in return.

“Hm, wanna skip again tomorrow?”

“If its with you, why not?”

“You're so cheesy.” [name] slightly smacked his shoulder. Amane turned ahead, a smile forming from his lips.

‘Nonetheless, I don't really mind skipping with you even if it means being with you...’

“Hold on tight, we're going downhill!” Amane gripped on the handles of his bike. [name]'s eyes widened when she saw that that they were about to go down on a slope.

“Cheers to us delinquents!” [name] cheered before they go down to the road.

Definition and terms:

hanafuda - flower cards that can be played in a variety of games such as koi koi (the type of game that [name] and amane are playing with the cards)

sakura - cherry blossom

matsu - pine tree

ume - plum blossom

-end of part 1-

thank you for reading, make sure to like and reblog if you love this post~

taglist: @closetwaffle @closetweebsmh

[leahsfiction]

the millstone (folklore pastiche/tma)

744 words, Breekon & Hope and the Buried in ancient China. cw ableist and fatphobic language (nothing else rly. just bros hanging out with a millstone)

with thanks to pu songling and journey to the west. this is my original work and not a preexisting tale. it’s also a first draft, so i might delete this if i need to make drastic edits.

thanks also to @garden-ghoul for providing the initial spark

*****

Two somewhat ugly laborers were walking along amiably and bickering while pulling an enormous millstone behind them. What an object! In diameter it was as wide as three men lying head-to-toe, and as thick as a person standing up.

"I wonder that you can move such a heavy object!" said a hapless farmer, coming upon them in the road. "What's your secret?"

Seeing him, one of the two thrust a bag of green pears at him. "Oh, neighbor, please take these off my hands. They're tasty but as hard as small stones. Save this idiot from losing more teeth to them, too."

The second laborer said, "Give our precious groceries away? Who’s the bigger idiot when all we have to do is carry them in our stomachs."

Impatiently, the farmer interrupted their quarreling: "What on earth is this? Clearly the millstone is the heavy load, and not those few sorry pears." Ah, clearly these two laborers were equal in idiocy!

The laborers began to laugh as though they were heavily drunk. "No, my good friend," said the first laborer, "you see, we have here a very convenient millstone. It lets us pull it around as easily as... hm, a fat pig."

"A spring lamb," argued the other.

"If someone ate all my pancake crusts and soup dregs, wouldn’t we call that a fat pig?"

Maddened by exasperation and grinding his teeth, the farmer exclaimed, "You pair of sodden laborers! Unless you can explain yourselves, I must disbelieve my own eyes!"

"You've distressed our brother on the road," the first laborer berated the other, "for shame!" And he threw down the straps that he was pulling the millstone by, stomped back towards it, squatted down, hugged his arms around it... and lifted it off the ground.

Moving very awkwardly and possibly still drunk, he walked a few meters and set it down again.

"Weakling," jeered his companion, "see what not eating the grease layer off your stew gets you." And he in turn did the same thing! This millstone with the diameter of three men! And what’s more, lifted it clean above his head, outdoing the first.

"My companion is talented," confided the first laborer to the farmer, and passed him a pear.

"HOY!" the second laborer called, and amazingly hurled the millstone right at them. Just when the farmer thought he'd be paste, the first laborer caught it. Soon, they were tossing this giant millstone back and forth like it was nothing heavier than a melon.

And then the first laborer said to the farmer: "Hey, you want to try this trick with our millstone?" For they'd gotten bored with that game.

"Sure!" said the farmer, feeling very comradely and full of pears.

"We'll put this millstone on you! No - not like we're pressing you flat, that would be gross. We'll put it on your shoulders like a cape, and you'll be able to walk around and amaze everyone like that."

The farmer agreed, and let the both of them lift up the millstone once more and settle the hole over his head.

Although the farmer typically rose very early, some time had passed and it was now in fact high noon. The sun passed directly through the six-foot shaft of the hole and beat down on his head - if this millstone made a good raincape, it did not make a good sunhat.

"Come, we'll lead you back into town," called the first laborer, "everyone will be amazed, we can't wait."

The farmer tried to follow their voices, but after awhile the cool stone surrounding his eyes and ears and the hot sun from above made him get turned around. He kept walking easily for awhile, bearing the millstone, but soon he started losing his endurance. He began to get slower… and slower… and eventually he stopped, in a field, by the feel under his sandals, standing stick-straight as the millstone grew heavier.

<okay uhh i don't have a satisfactory ending for this bc i'm a weenie, but basically the farmer ends up in some final state standing upright. whether he gets... compressed.. from the neck down or sinks into the earth, either works>